Friday, November 27, 2015

Being thankful when it's hard

I am always hearing stories of how everyone is thankful when their struggles are over. They rejoice and praise God that someone they love is healed, that He has blessed them with something they needed, they are grateful they got the job they wanted/needed. The house they really wanted or needed.

I don't often hear praises from someone stuck in the middle of their trials. Someone who has gotten blow after blow and when things can't seem to get worse they do.

This year has been one of the hardest of my life. I left home and went through a month or two of being horribly homesick. I lost one of the little girls I nannied for eight years and couldn't make it back for her funeral. That has been the hardest struggle and I still can't talk about it often.

Just when I thought nothing could get worse I lost the nanny job here I needed and haven't been able to find more work though I've searched high and low and filled out too many applications to count. Then my car started to die and I can't exactly afford a new one without another job. Then last night, Thanksgiving night, it refused to start and I don't know why.

So here is my list. Here are all the things I'm thankful for in spite of the overwhelming struggles which sometimes feel as if they are crushing me.

Despite the lack of job I had enough for Christmas presents for my family.

It is snowing, large pretty flakes and has been for nearly a week now.

I have a snug little place where I can have Jenni.

I have an amazing adopted family who has been looking after me.

My brother might be coming out the week before Christmas and staying Christmas morning. Also my cousin Daviyd might fly out Christmas Eve.

I get to listen to Christmas music thanks to Pandora!

I have a lead on a new job if I can get everything worked out in a month.

My friends surprised me with a gift when I needed it most.

I can decorate for Christmas however I like.

I get the chance to study Archaeology in earnest here.

I at least have one job and it is one I enjoy.

The impossible happened and there's been found a cure for my legs. It might not be long term but I'm going to enjoy not limping everywhere for as long as it lasts.

I am learning more and more about myself and grow in my walk with God who has surprised me with little blessings throughout this long struggle.

But the biggest, I'm forever thankful for the eight years I had to be a nanny to those girls. I'm thankful I got to spend time with someone so special, someone who changed my life twice. And I am thankful someday I will get to see her and thank her face to face.

All pictures were taken just as the sun had set. It was an amazing sunset and I had hoped to capture it but my camera couldn't pick it up, but I snapped some in spite of the bad quality. They are completely imperfect and I like them.

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